I was 19 when I first had full-on sex with another man. I was at college, living in dorms, and the experience—aside from the usual horrifying awkwardness and somewhat spontaneity of the occasion—was completely and utterly unremarkable aside from one thing: the guy I slept with identified as straight. It was late or early, depending on your outlook on the world when I was joined by the boy who was living in the room next to mine, way back on the other side of the building. He was clearly intoxicated, but it was a party after all and who was I, quite drunk myself, to judge. The minutiae of exactly how things developed from us being together in that room to us having slightly unsuccessful sex in a bathroom in a different corridor have since escaped me.
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So a little while back I met this girl at a team party school sports and it was one of those instant attraction types of things; for whatever reason I was just really into her right off the bat. Anyways, the first time I saw her after break was at another team event. This time a day trip where we just all had some fun times and chilled out. Again, we flirted and got on well, I was really enjoying myself. After the trip some of us met up at a party later in the evening and there we shared a brief but sweet make-out session. I got her number and things were going great, but after this point that she got considerably more difficult to read.
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One-Night Stand or Rape?
OK, so I really need advice. Recent events of late have reminded me how important it is to carpe diem. This fellow makes me laugh, is kind, smart and funny, and gives me butterflies in my stomach.
Understandably, you've thought of nothing else since… but you're no longer obsessing over the magical feeling of her-lips-on-yours or the sight-of-him-shirtless. Oh no, no, no. Your gut has doubts and your head has questions.